Birthday wishes
A birthday card from a parent is one of the few things a daughter is likely to still have in twenty years. Written with that in mind: no lecture, no hopes disguised as wishes.
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Continue writing opens that message in the card with the words already in it, so all that is left is to change a word and send it. The last message is the longest of the six, and it is the only one you have to copy across yourself.
Happy birthday. Watching you turn into yourself has been the best part of my life, and I don't think I've ever said it to you that plainly. Today there's nothing to achieve and nothing to prove. Just enjoy it.
Continue writing with message 1Happy birthday. ❤️ You're braver than I was at your age, by a long way, and kinder with it too. Whatever you decide to do next, you'll have this house behind you the whole way. Have a wonderful day.
Continue writing with message 2Happy birthday. The one thing I'd want you to be certain of is that you never have to earn your place here. Not with results, not with anything at all. Enjoy every last bit of today, and eat far too much of the cake.
Continue writing with message 3Happy birthday to the person who made this house considerably louder and enormously better. You still argue like a lawyer and win most of them, and I gave up resisting years ago. Come and cut the cake.
Continue writing with message 4Happy birthday. I still remember how small you were the first time you decided you'd do something entirely on your own. You've been doing exactly that ever since. Wherever it takes you, come home now and then.
Continue writing with message 5Happy birthday. I'm proud of you in a way that has nothing to do with marks or jobs or anything at all that you have to achieve. You're good company and a good person, and neither of those came from us telling you to be. And whatever this year turns into, you'll never have to face any of it on your own.
Praise something that is not an achievement. Daughters, in particular, get measured constantly — results, jobs, marriage. A card that admires her judgement, her stubbornness, or the fact that she is kind to people who cannot help her is a card that is not also an expectation.
Keep the future out of it. Wishing her a good marriage or a good job, however warmly meant, turns a birthday card into a plan. Write about who she is today; the hoping can happen anywhere else.
This is one she may still have in twenty years. Make it a letter, not a wish.
Write her birthday cardIt arrives as a sealed envelope they open on their phone.