Sorry messages
Friendships rarely end in a fight; they end in nobody apologising for something small. This page covers both apologies a friend is owed — the one for what you said, and the one for how long you have been gone.
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Continue writing opens that message in the card with the words already in it, so all that is left is to change a word and send it. The last message is the longest of the six, and it is the only one you have to copy across yourself.
I'm sorry. I was careless with something you'd trusted me with, and I've been embarrassed about it ever since. You didn't do a thing to deserve that. I'd rather say it plainly than let it quietly change things between us.
Continue writing with message 1I should have shown up and I didn't, and I haven't got a good reason to offer you. I'm sorry. You've never once done that to me. I know an apology doesn't undo the evening, but I wanted you to know I'm aware of what I did.
Continue writing with message 2I've been a bad friend this year and you've been patient about it far longer than you needed to be. I'm sorry. Not busy, not distracted, just bad at keeping up. That's mine to fix rather than yours, and I'd like to start now.
Continue writing with message 3That joke wasn't funny and I could see it land wrong the second it left my mouth, and then I made it worse by defending it. I'm sorry. You've earned a lot better than that from me after all these years of putting up with me.
Continue writing with message 4I disappeared for months and let the group chat do the work of being a friend on my behalf. I'm sorry. If you'll have me back I'd like to do this properly again, starting with actually turning up when I say I will.
Continue writing with message 5I'm sorry. I let you down, and I've spent a while trying to find a version of this where I come out of it better, which is exactly the problem. There isn't one. You'd never have done this to me. If you'll have me back I'd like to be a proper friend again, starting with turning up when I say I'm going to.
If the offence was going quiet, do not explain it with busy. Every friend you have is also busy, so it reads as a ranking. Say the true version instead — that you got low, or embarrassed about how long it had been, or that you are bad at replying and it has nothing to do with them.
Do not ask for the friendship back in the same sentence. Apologise, and let the invitation be a separate line at the end, easy to ignore. A friend who feels obliged to forgive you in order to be polite has not forgiven you.
Send the one thing a year of silence cannot ignore: something with your actual words in it.
Write the apologyIt arrives as a sealed envelope they open on their phone.